Weaning off of Forums

Social media addiction gets a lot of press.  Fortunately, I don't suffer from this.  I don't use any of the big sites (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter ... or whatever Elon is calling it).  I guess I use YouTube, but watching how-to videos and listening to music in the background is about as far away from doom-scrolling as you can get.  All-in-all, I have a healthy relationship with the Internet...

Except for chess forums.  That one has proven a problem.

Curse this easily accessible link!

I like chess.  I am a teacher.  I like talking about chess and I really like helping people get better at chess.  I have spent a considerable amount of time doing this.  I don't regret it ... but, and of course there's a "but" coming, refreshing a page 15 times an hour to see if someone might have posted something is a wee bit overboard.

My story may or may not resonate with you, but I think the subtext, of spending a lot of time around chess and discussing chess but without actually doing chess, is quite common.

Briefly, My Story

It's really simple: I like talking about chess, and I've searched for places where I can do that.  Growing up in a small town, chess wasn't high on the priority list and I rarely got in-person opportunities to do so.  My first real foray into online chess discussion would be on Chess.com, which was by and large terrible.  Talk about shouting into the void.  An IM can literally provide his two cents and yet get drowned out by a flood of trolls and jokesters and bots.  I wanted to talk chess, not wade through a toxic dump.

I eventually found Chessable, which perfectly met my needs.  Small enough that threads did not get lost in the shuffle, but large enough that it wasn't just the same people forming an echo-chamber.  A good mix of rating ranges, and the focus was almost exclusively chess content and improvement (as opposed to news or social discussions).

If you are reading this, you likely first met my writings on Chessable. I was an early adopter, a frequent poster and a community author.  Around this same time, I was transitioning away from my old job (karate instructor) and into the legal world.  In other words, my day job went from helping kids grow, learn new skills and master themselves to ... helping clients save time and money navigating various government regulations.  Yes, there was quite a contrast, and it perhaps explains why I focused so hard on helping random people online.  It filled a void that my job had previously filled.

The problem, so to speak, is that I went too hard.  I checked the forum multiple times a day, looking for anyone that needed help.  Then it became multiple times an hour.  Then it became constant.  I always had a tab open, refreshing every few minutes.  It became a habit, something I did when I wasn't even thinking about it.

I don't remember the exact catalyst. I think it was a combination of a rude comment and my growing disillusionment about Chessable as a learning site. Whatever it was, something clicked.  I pressed the "X" in the top of my browser.

And I didn't log back in for about six months.  Or maybe it was a year.  I don't fully remember.

The Detox

"Digital Detox" has become a buzzword, but I suppose that is what I did.  I cut out virtually all chess content, actually: no games, no reviews, no puzzles, no discussions.  It took a little willpower for the first two days, mostly to stop my unconscious habits from taking over.  After that it was fine, and I found new things to fill my time.

That's the key thing: filling my time.  I didn't realize how much time I spent checking forums until I stopped doing it.  This unlocked a wealth of free time.  It may have been 2-5min here and there ... but there was a lot of such time.  It added up.

It also deeply highlighted how often I was just looking for something to do.  When I got bored or restless, I checked the forums, just for something to do.  Once I stopped doing this, this restlessness became front and center ... but then I started doing something about it.  Rather than mindlessly refreshing the same page over and over again, looking for new notifications, I went out and did something new.

And this led to the next thing: I was happier.  Much happier.  Said another way, the constant checking and rechecking the forums made me unhappy. This seems to mesh with social media in general: the people most online seem to be the most unhappy. When I eventually came back and starting reading forums again, I did notice a slight dip in happiness.  For me, that's the clincher.

Of course, this leads to a conundrum.  I like reading, writing and talking about chess.  It feels really good to help people ... but hanging around forums consistently feels bad.  How can I write about chess without relying on forums?

...

That's right.  You are on my blog.  This is where I can write and express myself but without the constant refreshing and checking and doom-scrolling. And yes, this is precisely why I started blogging again.

What I Have Learned

First, I will never get on social media.  I have my blog, I have some random YouTube videos, that's enough for me.

Second, the time saving is immense.  I did not realize the sheer bulk of time it takes to check a website multiple times a day.  It's nickle and diming your time.  I literally improved my piano playing by freeing up so much time (I'm not very good, but I can play it.)

Third, it brought into sharp focus the distinction between "hanging around" chess and actually doing chess.  I spent over an hour a day checking chess forums.  I was thinking chess thoughts.  This gave the illusion that I was spending quality time on the game.  I might train for 30min, but it felt like I put in 2hrs of work that day.  Once I cut this out, I could actually spend 2hrs of time on chess, and the distinction between the two loomed large.

Fourth, I like talking about chess, but fundamentally, I simply like chess.  If I have 3min to check a forum, why not use that 3min to solve a puzzle?  Or look at a position?  Or just do chess?  I like helping people, I really do.  I also really like chess, and spending more time doing chess makes me happier.  Undeniably.

Finally, I have returned to browsing the forums, but I do it 1-2 times a week.  If there's an interesting discussion, I'll take a look.  If not, oh well, let's do something else now.  This feels much healthier than multiple times a day.  I've noticed that this has a tendency to creep upwards, so I have to be careful. Want to make sure this does not become a habit.

In the final analysis, I don't know if my forum habits amounted to "social media addiction," but it probably wasn't healthy and it certainly wasn't fun.  Kicking the habit, or at least massively diminishing it, has improved my day-to-day and given me more time.  If nothing else, let this be a reminder that even chess-related media can be harmful if not done intentionally.

I'm also aware of the irony: if my readers take this lesson seriously, they might never come back.  Oh well.  That's a risk I'm willing to take.